theatrical comedy "My wife is a robot" на английском языке

                                               Igor Murenko

                                      My wife is a robot

Member of the Guild of playwrights of Russia Igor Murenko (plays were staged and played in Russia, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, Bulgaria and France),

the author of the play “JOKES IN DEAF”, staged in 84 theaters in Russia, Lithuania and the CIS countries (at the time of 2019),

offers theaters a new play - “MY WIFE - ROBOT”.

Funny story of the near future in 2 acts

The play “MY WIFE IS A ROBOT” became the winner of the International Play Competition “DRAMA TIME, 2019, Autumn”.

Playwrights from Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Moldova, Uzbekistan, the Czech Republic, Germany, Canada, Israel, the USA took part. You can read about the victory of the play on the competition website, here - http://www.theatre-library.ru/contest?s=2019-3&res=first

Characters:

Oleg is a tennis coach, 34 years old.

Natalia - his wife, fashion stylist, 32 years old.

Marina is a humanoid robot, apparently 22 years old.

Pavel - robotics design engineer, 37 years old.

The play takes place in the living room of a three-room apartment.

After another scandal with his wife, who put the family on the brink of divorce, the hero accepts the offer of his friend - a robotics engineer - to live with a female robot, an experimental model that is currently undergoing testing.

The play is written in Russian.

The author apologizes for numerous errors. The translation was made by him through a Google translator.

SCENE 1.

    June 10, evening. In the foreground is a sofa, two armchairs, a coffee table. Behind them in the wall, left and right, are the doors of two separate rooms. Left, side - the entrance to the kitchen. Entrance to the right. The apartment (in the hallway) includes Natalia and Oleg. Natalia is a slender, beautiful brunette. Dressed stylishly, brightly. Passes into the living room. Holds a mobile phone near his ear, a conversation on which with a client began even before entering the apartment. Oleg is a tall, athletic bag with tennis rackets on his shoulder. Oleg closes the front door, removes the bag from his shoulder, puts it against the wall in the hallway. Following his wife goes to the living room. He sits in a chair. He is tired after training, but his mood is good.

Natalya (respectfully polite). Good ... (Listens) ... Good ... (Listens) ... Well ... (Listens) ... Yes, I remember everything. (Listens) .... That you, that you are a lot of time. I have time for everything. Do not be so kind as to worry. All images will be super charming, delightful - taking into account your refined, refined taste and your beautiful, bright, unique appearance. (Listens) .... Have a nice evening. It's always nice for you to fantasize. Till tomorrow. (Presses the end light).

Throws a handbag into a chair. Walks nervously.

A reptile! Bastard! We agreed - five capsules will enter the wardrobe! I picked everything up! She approved! And now she suddenly decided to give me a stress! (Mimics the client). “You know, add four more capsules for an evening plein air. Plus three looks - for receiving guests during the day. Plus four looks - for receiving guests in the evening. We are hosting a reception in our new home. Did I tell you or not? My husband is obsessed with real estate. He buys and buys everything. This is the fifteenth or sixteenth house - I’ve already lost count. ”... Bitch! Now I must not sleep at night, in a hurry to invent, pick up! Scum! I hate to work on a psycho!

Oleg. Sorry.

Natalya. You?!

Oleg. I.

Natalya. Sympathy is slobbering!

Oleg (calmly). Wow - immediately an attack. Do you want to rip anger on me? Come on, rip it off.

Natalya. Potter with jerks! You are not fit to train adult, cool players! Mediocrity!

Oleg. Yes, I train children and juniors - that means mediocrity. You're right.

Natalya. And satisfied, calm! And rejoice at your quiet dead end! Dumbass!

Oleg. Rough. What for? You know, injuries destroyed my playing career.

Natalya. Yes, boob! The real one! Round like your fucking tennis ball! You are not capable of anything serious! There are men - dozens of people are buying houses!

Oleg. Yes, even hundreds. This apartment is enough for me.

Natalya. I say - you are limited, primitive, stupid!

Oleg. Would be silent. Rags on my mind.

Natalya. Not rags, but fashionable, stylish clothes! I have already achieved more than you! I am a successful fashion stylist - in a respectable Fashion House! To me - wow! - how many people are asking for advice both as a personal shopper and as an image-maker! I helped many to choose a capsule wardrobe, create a new image! Soon our House and I will be invited to show their models in Italy! I will be known abroad! And who knows? A few kids in a sports school ?!

Oleg. Soon you, rags, and your capsules, robots will be thrown into the trash.

Natalya. Do not throw out! I have creativity! Robots are not capable of creativity!

Oleg. Today they are not capable, but tomorrow they can. They are nimble.

Natalya. Better you hold on to your rackets stronger! And then soon robots will take them from you! Remain without your little pennies! You will sit on one allowance!

Oleg. The work of a coach in tennis is a delicate thing. Robots will not replace me for another hundred years. And it’s time for you to do it. So, I came in the evening from training, but there is no dinner, as always. Well, that intercepted in the eatery. Why, such a family life is already boring! ... (He gets up, walks). Nothing, they will throw you out - and excellent! Finally, take care of the house, and not the Fashion House! You’ll start cooking! Yes, from natural products! The grub in airmail packages and canteens are already sick of it! Where did I look thirteen years ago ?! Why didn’t I see you in the little fox ?!

Natalya. I was dazzlingly good! You were admiring me!

Oleg. Nerd!

Natalya. Oh, self-criticism! At last!

Oleg. Idiot! Pecked at the exterior! Did not find out what kind of character, whether there are brains! He was a fool - at 21!

Natalya. The character is wonderful! Brains are lightning! Plus the beauty! And now the beauty! What's wrong?!

Oleg. Beauty! You think! The beauty also has intestines! And he spoils everything!

Natalya. I would marry a robot! The robot has no intestines!

Oleg. Beauty is in the toilet, like everyone else!

Natalya. The robot does not go to the toilet! Marry a robot!

Oleg. Such robots will appear - I’ll get married! Better with a robot than with you!

Natalya. Intestine, toilet - that’s what your thoughts are about, pathetic loser! Your level of toilet! Because you are ugly, vile, limited, insignificant!

Oleg. And you are evil, two-faced, greedy, envious! You make me sick!

Natalya. And in the face ?!

Oleg. Give it a try!

Natalya. And I will give!

Oleg. Give! I will not reply! There is no hope! You cannot sue me!

Natalya. And I will give!

Oleg. And give it!

              Natalya inflicts a few blows, but Oleg puts the block, and the blows fall on his hands.

Go, train!

Natalya. Scoundrel! Take advantage of my weakness!

Oleg. Of course I am!

Natalya (strikes a few more). Bastard! ... Cattle! ... I'm not your home slave! ...

Oleg (successfully defending himself). Of course, not a slave! ... A slave knows how to cook! ...

Natalya. Feed such a donkey! ....

Oleg. Oh, you feed! .... I live starving .... like a bachelor! ....

Natalya (stops fighting). And continue to live like that, moron! Do not value your wife - I'm leaving! Absolutely!

Oleg. Fine! I will not grieve!

Natalya. You’ll still call!

Oleg. Yeah, wait! I didn’t forget - my apartment ?!

Natalya (stretches out her hands in front of her husband). You see - bruises. You wanted to beat me. I attacked. I put out my hands, defended myself. I'll sue you! Get the deadline and sit down! The apartment will be mine! I didn’t forget - my mother is a lawyer ?!

Oleg. Get out!

Natalya. You’ll regret it!

Oleg. I regret it for a long time - I married such rubbish!

Natalya. Fool! Nerd! Mediocrity! Jonah! (Leaves the apartment, slamming the door loudly).

Oleg sits down in a chair ... Gets up, walks ... Sits down again ...

«Pleasant music sounds and Paul appears in a holographic image in the corner of the room.

Pavel. What - thought turned to me?

Oleg. Hello Pasha.

Pavel. Caught, caught your little thought. Why did you remember your former sparring partner?

Oleg. Yes, flashed by.

Pavel. Are you nervous?

Oleg. There is such a thing.

Pavel. Did you fight with your wife?

Oleg. Right

Pavel. Be strong. Living with a woman and staying alive is not so simple. I know this from my own experience.

Oleg. Yes, I’m already ... I got sick to live with a woman. I got it. I will get a divorce.

Pavel. Ah, so you remembered about me and my topic - a robot wife? So?

Oleg. You once said ... Your office works in this direction .... And you personally, as an engineer, oversee something there ....

Pavel. I answer. We are at the final stage of development. Created several experimental models. As far as I know, competitors have not come forward. They also created a robot wife, but a trial version. The product has not yet entered the market. We and they are undergoing a test. We are just looking for those who want to live with a robot wife. You sent a thought to me in time. Want to try?

Oleg. This is not dangerous?

Pavel. Absolutely.

Oleg. She doesn’t fight?

Pavel. Of course not.

Oleg. And without a scammer? Without arrivals?

Pavel. By itself. We make an ideal wife - for us, for men. Such women are not found now.

Oleg. Need to think.

Pavel. You’ll think it’s too late. All probes will end. Yes, and nothing to think about. Look - some pluses. Does not argue. Does not criticize. Do not cut. Don't grunt. Not jealous. All forgives. Secretly does not save money. Pockets and mobile does not check. If you want, it’s silent. If you want, he says. No mother-in-law. There is no father-in-law. No relatives at all. Not getting old. I do not smoke. Not sweating. Not sleeping. He doesn’t eat. Don't drink. Do not snore. He does not go to the toilet. For clothes not chasing. It cooks great. Does not change. Appearance you choose yourself. But I’ll say right away - all the beauties. We are not ugly. And - attention - this is also a plus - the probe can be obtained for free. You conclude a contract with our company and go ahead - you live with a robot, as with an ordinary woman. Something did not like - you fix. Letting us know, we fix the flaws. If you do not terminate the contract as you wish - you will love her, become attached, want to live with her until the grave - please, she is forever yours. We are not heartless techies. If you want to return - return. Take her back. In short, complete freedom. No dictatorship on our part ... ... The models are pretty. Come on, make up your mind.

Oleg. Somehow scary ... not a man ... a robot ...

Pavel. Biorobot. From an ordinary woman can not be distinguished. Women need to be afraid, not robots.

Oleg. I agree about women, but I don’t know here.

Pavel. You will find out. Believe me, we won’t disappoint you.

Oleg. And how to kiss her and all that?

Pavel. Yes, the same way. Nothing new can be invented here.

Oleg. What to talk about with her?

Pavel. Yes, about anything. Our wide-ranging models. Support any conversation.

Oleg. And about tennis?

Pavel. Of course.

Oleg. It's good. Mine in tennis is not a boom-boom .... And what does it mean “cooks well”?

Pavel. Real jam. And it will take into account all your wishes. You will crack your favorite dishes.

Oleg. It is tempting. And what is the delivery? Shipment at own expense?

Pavel. No, we bring the model to the customer’s house, and then it already operates.

Oleg. Can I think a day?

Pavel. Think about it.

Oleg. Till.

Pavel. Till.

          Pleasant music sounds and the holographic image of Paul disappears».

SCENE 2.

12 June. Oleg in trousers. He puts on a shirt and ties a tie. He combes his hair, looks at his watch, sits down in an armchair. He gets up, walks. Sits down. He gets up, walks. Sits down again.

Oleg. Pasha, where are you?

         Pleasant music sounds and Paul appears in a holographic image in the corner of the room.

PAUL (at the wheel). We are already approaching your lair. She will come soon. Are you waiting

Oleg. I'm waiting.

Pavel. Is there a mandrake?

Oleg. Yeah ... Pounds everything ...

Pavel. Calmly. Everything will go fine. Trust me.

Oleg. An ordinary woman knows what to say ... And such ... I don’t know ....

Pavel. Do not be afraid. She herself will start. She communicates very well.

Oleg. What to offer her? Tea? Coffee? Candies?

Pavel. Nothing. Have you read the instructions?

Oleg. Yes. But everything flew out of my head.

Pavel. Then just smile.

Oleg. I don’t know ... Will it work ...

Pavel. Well, that’s it. Already arrived. She will come now. Good luck.

        The end of the connection sounds and Paul disappears.

        Oleg gets up, goes to the mirror, straightens his hair. He sits back in his chair, looks at his watch.

         The doorbell rings. Oleg takes the remote control, presses the button, the door opens and Marina enters - a slender, beautiful blonde. Dressed stylishly. Oleg jumps up and freezes in place.

Marina. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

                  Oleg does not answer - from excitement.

Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg (hoarsely). Yes you can.

Marina. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg. And what is wrong? I kind of answered?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no - the answer is neutral. I choose neutral. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg. Please come in. Sit down.

Marina. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg. Of course of course. I am very happy and all that.

Marina. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg. Is it stuck? Defective model?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no - the answer is neutral. I choose neutral. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg. Please continue. What is your next plan? What text?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no - the answer is neutral. I choose neutral. Good day. May I disturb you with my appearance on the territory that you rightfully consider sovereign?

Oleg. It seems that this is already starting to enrage me.

Marina. Good day.

Oleg. Ooh, I get it. Idiot! I did not say hello! Nerd! .... Good afternoon. Hello. (Kisses Marina's hand).

Marina. I apologize for repeating the question repeatedly. This is a reaction to the omission of the words "hello", "good afternoon" from the customer.

Oleg. Sorry, sorry.

Marina. Nothing, nothing. This is a technical malfunction. If they do not respond to my greeting, a logical chain of communication falls out, and in order to restore it, I have to resort to repetitions.

Oleg. I understood. I will be corrected.

Marina. And also I apologize for having sensitive information that your consciousness has authorized you to notify selectively to everyone. This applies to personal data. You are Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin.

Oleg. You're right. Before you really Oleg Korotin. That is, I.

Marina. I conducted a comparison process. Identified your appearance with a visual image in my archive - here (points to her forehead). Everything coincided.

Oleg. I am very happy.

Marina. The address of the place of residence corresponds to the address in the contract with our company. The appearance of the customer and his name, patronymic, last name corresponds to the visual image of the customer and his first name, patronymic, last name in the Agreement with our company. The error is excluded. Accept. I am your order number 8 of June 12th. My name is Marina. (Stops moving and talking, freezes in place).

                           Pause.

Oleg. What happened? Why did you shut up? (Goes around Marina from all sides). Again a technical glitch? Did I say something wrong? Or didn’t say what he had to say? (Once again bypasses Marina from all sides). Is it broken? (Touching her, feeling her). Warm. As a person…. Pasha, where are you?

   A pleasant beep sounds and Paul appears in a holographic image in the corner of the room.

PAUL (at the wheel). Did you call?

Oleg. Pasha, she’s broken. She spoke and suddenly fell silent. Does not move.

Pavel. Not broken. Five minutes after meeting the customer, she turns off. This is stated in the user manual. We did this so that the customer would recover. Considered a model. Adapted, so to speak, to his robot wife. Something you, Olezhek, poorly studied the instructions.

Oleg. I’m saying - everything flew out of my head.

Pavel. But for this, we - the developers - have arranged this technical break.

Oleg. And how to revive her?

Pavel. Yes, simple. Click with your thumb on her left hand. From the back. It activates her. Before communication.

                  The end of the connection sounds and Paul disappears.

                  Pause. Oleg examines Marina. Hand touches her hair, hips, legs.

Oleg. Beautiful. Slender. Okay, now I will revive you. (He takes Marina’s left hand, presses the thumb with the thumb on the back).

                  Marina "comes to life."

Marina (straightens her hair). I am your order number 8 of June 12th. My name is Marina.

Oleg. I understood it. Do you know how to swear?

Marina. The answer is no. And what is swearing? This is not in my memory database.

Oleg. To swear is to call another person obscene words. As a rule, husband and wife curse.

Marina. I can learn. I have excellent learning abilities.

Oleg. I would like to check. I’ll tell you a few words now. Can you repeat it?

Marina. I can memorize and repeat an array of words equal to ten to twenty-fifth power.

Oleg. Well, so much is not needed. So, a little bit. Ready? Remember! .... (Recalls the abuse of his wife). Slobber ... moron ... moron ... your level of toilet ... Shut up, cattle ... I hate you, you bastard! ... You are ugly, vile, disgusting! ... I’m not your home slave! ... I also need to feed such a donkey! .. I’ll condemn you! ... You’ll get a term and sit down! ... The apartment will become mine! ... My mother, a lawyer, is wrapping it up! ... Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, cretin !. ... remember?

Marina. Yes.

Oleg. Repeat.

Marina. Slobber, moron, moron, your level of toilet. Shut up cattle! I hate you bastard! You are nasty, nasty, disgusting! I’m not your home slave! Feed such a donkey! I'll sue you! Get the deadline and sit down! The apartment will be mine! My mother, a lawyer, is wracking this deal! Ha ....... ... (Oleg presses on his left palm, and Marina stops and freezes in place).

Oleg. Class! It was impossible to shut up my little wife. And this is one! - clicked on a point - and you're done! Progress! The beauty! Yes, you can still live like that. (He presses the left hand, and Marina "comes to life" again).

Marina. Ha ha, ha ha ha, cretin! ....

Oleg. Well remembered. You, Marinochka, well done. But now, please forget these words. They will not be useful to you. This is how I ... mastered .... I studied, so to speak, the capabilities of your model ... That is, your capabilities ... And I want to continue studying .... And something we are all for "you" and for "you"? This is somehow not very. It's time to move on to "you." For intimacy you need to "you". We will be close. Very close. Like husband and wife. And then, like strangers. (He takes a bottle of wine, two glasses). We need a drink at the brudershaft. Come on, sit down. (He puts a bottle of wine and glasses on the coffee table near the sofa, and seats Marina on the sofa). Like this. Are you comfortable?

Marina. The answer is yes. The sensors in my body did not signal discomfort.

Oleg. And wonderful. (Sits down next to Marina, hugs her by the shoulders). Why do we need some kind of brudershaft? You do not drink, do not eat. Maybe we get right to the point? To a closer acquaintance? Let's have a kiss. (He wants to kiss Marina).

Marina (pulls away). Slobber, moron, moron, your level of toilet. Shut up cattle! I hate you bastard! You are nasty, nasty, disgusting! I’m not your home slave! Feed such a donkey! I'll sue you! Get the deadline and sit down! The apartment will be mine! My mother, a lawyer, is wracking this deal! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, cretin! ....

                                Pause.

Oleg. Do not understand. I seem to say, “let's kiss.” When people kiss, they usually don’t swear.

Marina (gets up, steps aside). Slobber, moron, moron, your level of toilet. Shut up cattle! I hate you bastard! You are nasty, nasty, disgusting! I’m not your home slave! Feed such a donkey! I'll sue you! Get the deadline and sit down! The apartment will be mine! My mother, a lawyer, is wracking this deal! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, cretin! ....

Oleg. Good good! We will not kiss! Hang up! Something is wrong?

Marina. The answer is yes - yes, not so. Please forgive me generously, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin! But - a pass! Missed stages of the program, links in the logical chain. And I, therefore, again had a technical failure.

Oleg. What are the stages? What are the links? Do not understand.

Marina. We have known each other for only a few minutes, and you have already decided to touch my mouth with your mouth. It doesn’t. A woman should allow a man to come to her gradually, in stages, over time, systemically. In my array of ideas, these stages of rapprochement of the female and male bodies are clearly fixed. I can’t step back from them.

Oleg. Yes? And I thought - we are free people. Modern. Without prejudice. No dogma. Without any links and stages. With passes. Immediately, so to speak, the bull by the horns.

Marina. No no. With passes, life is impossible. You, Oleg Nikolaevich, will have a technical malfunction with passes. I will have a technical glitch with passes. All of humanity with gaps will experience a technical malfunction.

Oleg. Then we have long had a technical failure. True, we believe - not failure, but progress. Man, woman - once - and you're done! Everything is simple.

Marina. I am your order number 8 of June 12th. My name is Marina. And you are the customer - Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. In the paragraph "profession" it is indicated - the coach of the youth sports school. Specialization "tennis". Correctly?

Oleg. Yes.

Marina. You work with children, with youth. Do you know how young people were in the first half of the 20th century? You should be interested.

Oleg. No, not interesting! Want to kiss! And the point! You won't talk to me! Kiss! Want to kiss! I am a man! You are a woman! And I am a customer! I am ordering a kiss! Many kisses! (Heading to Marina to kiss her).

Marina (retreats to the wall). Slobber, moron, moron, your level of toilet. Shut up cattle! I hate you bastard!

Oleg. Kiss! (Coming).

Marina (backing away). You are nasty, nasty, disgusting! I’m not your home slave! Feed such a donkey! I'll sue you!

Oleg. Want to kiss! And I will kiss! My order! Order number 8! Eight Kisses!

Marina. Get the deadline and sit down! The apartment will be mine! My mother, a lawyer, is wracking this deal! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, cretin! .... (He touches the back of the wall, does not move).

Oleg comes up, wants to hug Marina to kiss her. Marina conducts sambo reception with wringing the opponent’s arm (shoulder lever), and Oleg finds himself in a helpless position - the body is bent in half, the head is directed to the floor, and the arm is in severe pain.

Oleg (screaming). Painfully! Let it go!

             Marina lets go of Oleg’s hand. He straightens up, stunned at Marina.

Fuck yourself!

Marina. Please forgive me generously, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. This is a technical malfunction. Missed the stages of the program, the necessary links ...

Oleg. Yes they go! (Rubs his hand).

Marina. I can relieve pain. The knowledge about it here (points to his forehead).

Oleg. How are you?

Marina. Sambo.

Oleg. What else can you do?

Marina. Wushu, aikido, karate, judo, Russian hand-to-hand fighting, taekwondo, Greco-Roman wrestling, freestyle wrestling, boxing, kickboxing, jujitsu, Krav Maga, Muay Thai.

Oleg. Why so much?

Marina. The answer is neutral. Husband protect. From the bullies. Suddenly attack.

Oleg. Do not attack. The husband will not live up to this .... Famously. I did not even have time to react.

Marina. Protection from the rapist.

Oleg. Am I a rapist? I am a customer. I am ordering. You - the eighth - do ....

                     Marina helps Oleg to sit in a chair, stands behind and massages with his finger a point on his head - on the dark.

Marina. Point "One Hundred Diseases." You will feel better now.

Oleg. Bent over funny? Come on, ass stuck up?

Marina. Your back was not in my field of view.

Oleg. Sticking out, sticking out .... Well - my students didn’t see how their coach was bent .... And what did they want to say about the youth?

Marina. The answer is neutral. In the twentieth century, in the first half, in Russia, in villages, boys and girls did not allow the omissions of the moral chain - before the wedding they did not even take hands. Not that, as you put it, kissing.

Oleg. Darkness…. Vpariali you ... you ... in the head all nonsense ...

Marina. Are you familiar with 19th century literature?

Oleg. Little. And what?

Marina. Do you intend to touch the mouth of my mouth?

Oleg. A couple more sambo tricks and desire will disappear.

Marina. Intent or not? A real man never gives up. In literary sources, a man is just that.

Oleg. Okay, I intend.

Marina. This will not work. The sensors of my ear did not record the determination, adherence in your voice.

Oleg. Good. (He gets up from the chair, turns to Marina, kneels in front of her). Marina, I want to kiss you. I really want to. I will not give up my desire.

Marina. Then you must accomplish a feat.

Oleg. Feat?!

Marina. In past centuries, a woman allowed only the hero to touch her mouth. In literary sources, this is so.

Oleg. What a feat ?!

Marina. Fly over the sea in a balloon. Save the girl from the bandits. Remove a kitten from a burning house. Anything else like that.

Oleg. What the hell?! (He grabs Marina’s left hand, clicks on the desired point, and Marina freezes in place). Stop, car! And this is my Sambo trick! ... (Rises from his knees). As for the feat, we did not agree with your manufacturer!

         A pleasant beep sounds and Paul appears in a holographic image in the corner of the room.

Pavel. What thought addressed me? Having a problem?

Oleg. Pasha, she doesn’t want to kiss!

Pavel. She is not a call girl who is ready to immediately enter into intimacy.

Oleg. Yes, but she has high demands. I must first become a hero! Get the kitten out of the fire! Fly in a balloon! Save the girl from the bandits! What nonsense you pushed into her head!

Pavel. Yes, much has been laid in it from young ladies of the 19th century. But men like these wives - we specifically conducted a survey. Therefore, she and not some cheap stuff, did not immediately go to bed. She needs a delicate, delicate approach. And you, go, immediately pounced. Confess - pounced?

Oleg. Well it was. I could not bear it. Now what to do ?!

Pavel. Fly in a balloon, fight with bandits, climb into the fire for a kitten. Fight because of her on swords. Singing her serenades under the balcony. And to fix, to fix everything that you do not like in our product. Clear?

Oleg. Dont clear.

Pavel. Above your head. Be a hero. Till.

Oleg (sadly). Till.

    The end of the connection sounds and Paul disappears.

Oleg (bypasses Marina from all sides). What is it that I acquired?

SCENE 3.

            22nd of June. Marina mops the floor. Natalya enters the apartment with a bouquet of flowers, looks at Marina in surprise.

Natalya. Who are you?

Marina. The answer is neutral. I'm Marina.

Natalya. It’s clear that you should have some kind of name. But Marina doesn’t tell me anything. Who are you, what wind has brought you and for what purpose?

Marina. The answer is neutral. To clean, cook, wash. Everything a woman should do around the house. I take care of a man. He must be pleased with me. My task is to like him.

Natalya. Clearly - a housekeeper. It seems - from the outback. Only in the outback they still want to take care of a man. And we - urban - have lost both desire and skills. Yes now, and in the village, in my opinion, among the youth of such fools less and less. So?

Marina. The answer is no - I don’t know.

Natalya. How so, “I don’t know”? If from the village, I must know. Where are you from?

Marina. The answer is neutral - from our company. Where she is - I can’t say.

Natalya. Are you from a closed, secret city? However, do not care. I'm on the drum, where did you come from. (Examines Marina's clothes). But you're dressed pretty stylishly. You can’t say that the provincial klush. She picked up or turned to fashion designers herself?

Marina. The answer is neutral. According to information from our company, this is a special order.

Natalya. Tell me please! Yes, you, I look, another thing. Closed town, classified company, special order. You might think - you sewed the outfit of special services or in the Ministry of Defense. Okay, like dark - dark. I’m on the drum where you snuggled up. (Sits in a chair). And is someone "a neutral answer, a negative answer"? Why don’t you speak humanly?

Marina. The answer is neutral. This is a feature of my speech. It reflects my thought process.

Natalya. Wow - the process. You are not only getting dark - you are also lifting your nose. Say, you are all so not so simple. Okay, figs with you. Tell me - where is Oleg - our hero? I came to congratulate him. He called? Said when it comes?

Marina. Clarification required. Hero?

Natalya. And who else? Are you not in the know?

Marina. The answer is no. I have zero information about this. Additional clarification. Please explain why you call Oleg Nikolayevich Korotin a hero?

Natalya. Today it is the main sports noise in the city. The main news of the day. Oleg’s pupil won some solid tournament there. He made his way to Wimbledon, not into an adult, of course, but into this ... like her ... junior grid. This is a perspective for Oleg. Now he and the guy will go to England in a week to Wimbledon. This is a super class! Then, you look, and his student will get into the adult tournament. And this is a solid prize. Millions of dollars! Coaches also get a lot of these prizes .... Listen, did you dress up with someone else? Housekeeper, mopping the floor, but dressed like a party? Why not in a lab coat?

Marina. The answer is neutral. I haven’t bought it yet.

Natalya. You're lying. Gluing Olezhik. The eye laid on him. A little man will soon start making good money. Trying in vain. Got who I am?

Marina. The answer is no.

Natalya. (She gets up from the chair, approaches Marina). I am his legal wife. So do not try - the place is taken.

            The front door opens and Oleg enters with a traveling suitcase on wheels and with a bag for rackets. Leaves a suitcase and bag in the hallway, goes into the living room.

Oleg (Natalya). Ohhh! And with flowers! That's what Wimbledon does!

Natalya. I came to congratulate you. Hold on. (Gives flowers to Oleg).

Oleg (doesn't take flowers, sits down in an armchair). Marinochka, throw these flowers in the trash. This is fake.

Natalya. You shouldn’t be so. I am from the bottom of my heart.

Oleg. I know your heart by heart.

Natalya. I'm really glad. And she came, although things are overwhelming. I am preparing models for Milan. Soon a luxurious, grandiose fashion show and I will participate.

Marina. Did you scold Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin? Slobber, moron, moron, your level of toilet. Shut up cattle! I hate you bastard! You are nasty, nasty, disgusting! I’m not your home slave! Feed such a donkey! I'll sue you! Get the deadline and sit down! The apartment will be mine! My mother, a lawyer, is wracking this deal! Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, cretin! ....

Oleg. In memory! Dictaphone! And by the way recalled!

Natalya. Wow! .... Why does a housekeeper know about our family secrets ?!

Oleg. Soon the court will know about them. I'm going to file for divorce.

Natalya. But I am against. I will not give you a divorce.

Oleg. Will give You won’t get anywhere. (He approaches Marina, hugs her on the shoulders). I live with another woman. And I really like her. Beautiful hostess. Cooking - oh! - complete delight! First, second, third! Yes, a salad of fresh or stewed vegetables! And what pies! A cookie! And the cakes! And now the house is always in perfect order! And when I do not come - the wife is always at home, and not hanging out in the unknown.

Natalya. I forgive you for treason. Just think, the little man decided to indulge. Novel with a housekeeper - fi, primitive. And he won’t last long, because ... I’m pregnant. And in connection with this you have certain obligations, like your father.

Oleg. Haha Now come up with?

Natalya. Oleg, I'm expecting a baby. Seriously.

Oleg. Lies.

Natalya. This is a good reason for the court. He will give us time for reconciliation. And there, you look, you yourself will change your mind about getting a divorce.

Oleg. The court will require a certificate from a gynecologist.

Natalya. Help will be.

Oleg. And I will require a genetic examination. Maybe this is not from me. You haven’t spent the night at home for almost two weeks.

Natalya. From you, from you! But - I agree to the examination. You will see - they will not quickly divorce us. Gimp will be. I'll give you a long gimp. Very long. And there - at the end of the riffraff - I already give birth. And will you leave us with a baby? To the joy of yellow zhurnalyugam? “The famous tennis coach Oleg Korotin left his wife with a newborn baby!”, “The famous tennis coach Oleg Korotin had no heart!” Are the headlines good? Ahh, they’ll be even worse .... You will not quit. You're good. You love children. You train children .... In short, I want the child to have a father! For this I’ll go to any lengths! Even to kill! (He throws flowers on the floor under Marina’s feet. With a triumphant look, he makes a circle around the room, lies down on the sofa). In general, this: I stay here. And you will fulfill the whims of your pregnant wife. And let this one serve me .... (Shouts). I want salty tomato juice! I want some salty cucumbers! I want salty little buggies! I want you to go to bed with me today! The embryo at night should warm the body of his own father!

Oleg. Then you should not spend the night with me.

Natalya. Are you jealous? I have a chance!

Marina. And what is “pregnant”? There is no such thing in my memory database.

Oleg. No, and do not. Marinochka, let's show her that she is the third superfluous. Do you think I deserve a kiss? Am I a hero in your opinion or not? Today, all city media outlets trumpet that I am a hero. There, even my capsule got sick of getting divorced, composed about an embryo.

Natalya. I'm not lying! The embryo still wants soaked lingonberries! Olezhek, send the housekeeper to the market!

Oleg. Marinochka, you cannot refuse a hero a kiss. Today I am a real hero. (He approaches Marina, takes the mop from her, puts the mop against the wall, and kisses Marina - deliberately for a long time).

     Natalia breaks off the couch and wants to fight Oleg and Marina, but hesitates.

Natalya. Nothing, nothing. Let's wait until the night.

SCENE 4.

     Night. Oleg is sleeping on the couch. Marina leaves the left adjoining room. He approaches Oleg, looks at him.

Marina. Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin, you wrinkled my mouth with your mouth, and I thought about what “pregnancy” is, and why a search in my information array leads to an omission, emptiness. From this emptiness in the brain there was a certain illogicality, discomfort. I looked on the net, what is “pregnancy”. And everything became clear. People make people like that. The knowledge gap disappeared, but the discomfort remained. Because I did not find the answer to the main question: why didn’t I have knowledge about pregnancy? Is it because I can't produce people? Can't I really? Then who am I? I am human? Am I the same as the hero Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin? How is this woman who calls herself the wife of the hero Oleg Nikolayevich Korotin? Or am I something else since I can’t produce people? (He looks at Oleg’s face, leans toward him). Here the sensors of my ear give a signal about the sound - the nose of Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin draws in air. From the nose of Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin, air comes out. (He puts his hand to Oleg’s nose). Here are the sensors of my palm signaling a stream of air from his nose. Does my nose blew air? (Puts palm up to his nose). No, the sensors are silent - my nose does not let out air. Why? Who knows? Pavel? The first human face that I saw in my life? Pavel appeared before me suddenly, as a kind of initial fact. He said that he is my creator, and is letting me into the world of people. With Paul we talked with nothing at all. He led me into the empty corridors of a production building. He took him out into the street, put him in a car, got on his own and we drove off. Counter faces - male and female - flickered very quickly, and were small, and they did not attract my gaze at that moment. My focus was on the sunlight that poured out on the houses, on the cars, on the trees, on the grass - and on a blue sky with white clouds. I thought: "What a bright world Paul led me to." Then I saw the second human face - the face of Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. He turned out to be my customer. Then I did not pay attention to his nose - how he draws in and releases air. But now I see the difference with my nose. (Slows Oleg). Oleg Nikolaevich, Oleg Nikolaevich, I know - people at night lie in a horizontal position in order to disconnect from communication with other people in order to charge their energy capacities. But I have questions. Turn on, get in touch, please accept an upright position.

         Oleg wakes up, looks at Marina.

Oleg. What? What happened?

Marina. I have questions.

Oleg. At night?

Marina. Can’t questions arise at night?

Oleg. Okay, it's my fault. It was necessary to disconnect you for the night. (Sits down on the couch). Well? What questions?

Marina. Why doesn't my nose draw in and let out air?

Oleg. But Paul did not explain?

Marina. Not.

Oleg. I do not know…. Maybe you have a runny nose? Yes, a runny nose. Right With a runny nose, the nose does not draw in or let out air. What else?

Marina. You go to the toilet. What are you doing there? Why flush water?

Oleg. And this Paul did not explain?

Marina. Not.

Oleg. I'll tell you tomorrow. I want to sleep now.

Marina. Another question, the last one. Can I produce people?

Oleg. Well, Paul. Well, gives. For him I have to puff. Come with me. (He takes Marina by the hand and leads to the left room. After a few seconds he returns alone, without Marina). Disconnected. Let it stand until the morning without question. Pavel, tell me what to say to her?

      A nice beep sounds and Paul appears in a holographic image in the corner of the room.

PAUL (in pajamas, awake). Old man, what are you really doing? The night is in the yard.

Oleg. It’s my fault. Your product asks me questions at night. And I do not know what to answer.

Pavel. What is she there?

Oleg. Why doesn't her nose breathe? What are we doing on the toilet? Can she give birth?

Pavel. What, what, what?

Oleg. What are we doing on the toilet? Why doesn't her nose breathe? Can she give birth?

Pavel. Repeat yet.

Oleg. Can it produce people? Why doesn't her nose draw in and let out air? What are we doing in the toilet, why do we flush water?

                        Pause.

Why are you silent? Fell asleep or what?

Pavel. Yes, I did not fall asleep, on the contrary. All the way around, Olezhek. Awoke. Even as I woke up. What a news. She notices the difference between people and herself. So, actually thinking. This is our manufacturing success. Grandiose! Our robot thinks like a man! He has independent, analytical thinking! This is a sensation! I, our design bureau will become famous all over the world!

Oleg. And what should I answer her - about the nose, about childbirth, about the toilet?

Pavel. I don’t know. Let me figure it out. Well, the news is so news! This is a discovery! The greatest achievement! Revolution! Created a robot that thinks like a man! For joy in my head, it seems, a complete failure ....

Oleg. Maybe tell her the truth-womb?

Pavel. Wait a minute. I have all the balls in my brain rolled out, let me put them together.

Oleg. Is she the first so smart? You said - you created several models and distributed everything to the peasants, for the experiment. What about those? Stupid?

Pavel. Olezhek, the sensation so far only in your apartment. In your hands. Only your probe gives out pearls. By the way - you too will become famous .... So, what did you tell her about childbirth, about the toilet, about breathing?

Oleg. Somewhere lied, somewhere evaded.

Pavel. Very well. Well done. Intuition told you the right behavior. And further - in the same way. Evade, lie. Get out as you can. She herself must understand that it is not a man, but that she has become on a par with a man. No - she is even better than a person. In the absence of food and water, she will not die of hunger and thirst - she will charge her batteries from an electrical outlet once a month, and that's all; in any frost can be without warm clothes and will not catch a cold; maybe you don’t sleep at night, but do business - you just don’t turn it off. She has a lot of advantages. She can make more people. And besides, she will be the perfect wife. We will make the male gender happy! All men will want to marry our robots!

Oleg. Then all natural women will declare war on you.

Pavel. And we will calm them down quickly. We’ll make robotic husbands for them. Perfect husbands. Everyone will be happy - both men and women .... But now what a moment, Olezhek! Ponder We have created a robot with independent thinking! With a man like that! We can get a gold medal at the Löbner contest! And she, by the way, still has not been awarded to anyone! Olezhek, I love you! You are the co-author of the sensation! The whole world will know about you!

Oleg. You will drag her around all kinds of scientific gatherings - forums, conferences, exhibitions, presentations. Take her from me.

Pavel. So far the question is not worth it. Relax. Live, enjoy, rejoice. You have a perfect wife! Moreover, the wife is a scientific sensation! .... Well, that’s it - today I won’t fall asleep anymore. All this needs to be considered. OK Bye.

Oleg (sadly). Till.

             The end of the connection sounds and Paul disappears.

He will not fall asleep. Will I fall asleep?

            Oleg lies down on the sofa. Natalya leaves the right adjoining room in a seductive night peignoir.

Natalya. Oleg, I didn’t sleep, I heard everything. Is she not a woman, a robot ?! Gosha! Wow! Wow! I didn’t even know about such robots! Is there such a thing? One cannot distinguish from an ordinary woman .... "The answer is yes, the answer is no, the answer is neutral," she thought, she was simply dark with geese. And this is a robot. Not lass with pots, a vacuum cleaner and a washing machine. Pretty good! .... Oleg, do you have an affair with a robot? Is she he, a robot? (Starts to laugh - and so that he can not stop) .... Have you kissed a robot? ... Isn’t it dangerous? ... Oh, I can’t ... (From laughter, he falls to the floor, to his knees) .... But I ... I decided ... ... (Groans with laughter) ... Oleg, Olezhek, you just don’t tell anyone .... Everyone will laugh at you ... (He stops laughing, gets up from the floor, sits down on the sofa). Oleg, well, this is not serious, not for life. For a scientific experiment - well, okay. Think - what, what happiness can you give not a living creature, but a technical product?

Oleg. From you, happiness was above the roof. One scold.

Natalya. Well, a little flared up. The client pissed me off. Well, they quarreled with you a little bit. It happens to everyone…. You are 34, I am 32, it is time for us to already have a child. A robot cannot give birth to you, but I can. (Gently runs a hand over Oleg’s head). You are made for glory, for success. Your children, our children will be proud of you. Forgive me. (He lies down in bed with Oleg, snuggles up to him). Give me a hug. I love your strong athlete body so much.

       Oleg jumps up from the couch and leaves for the left adjacent room. Returns with Marina, leading her hand.

Oleg (to the marina). Here - admire! Climbing and climbing! (He takes Natalya by the arms, picks him up from the couch and takes him aside). Natalia, fuck off in a good way! .... Marina, I’m your customer and I order - protect me from this woman!

Marina. How can I protect you, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin? So? (Deals with a loud cry a series of karate attacks on an imaginary opponent, stops). But I won’t beat a woman.

Oleg. And it is not necessary. Everything is simpler. (Leads Marina to the sofa, lies down himself). Come on, come to me - I'm the hero Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. To the hero you can. You yourself said that only a hero can conquer a woman. Come on, come on. (Helps Marina lie down). That is good. Now she does not stick up. So you protect me from her harassment. (Natalia). Have a bite! Disappear! Third wheel!

Natalya. I don’t think so, the hero Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin! (With a triumphant look, he makes a circle around the room and throws himself on the sofa to Oleg and Marina).

              The light goes out.

Voices are heard in the dark.

Voice of Oleg. You are a fool!

Voice of Natalia. Himself a fool!

Voice of Oleg. Chaos!

Voice of Natalia. Libertine, seducer of inexperienced robots!

Voice of Oleg. Marina would be shy!

Voice of Natalia. Wife would be shy!

Voice of Oleg. Marinochka, we have a technical glitch!

                          ACTION TWO

SCENE 5.

                   July 16. Marina (in another dress) sits in an armchair, reads an e-book, making notes in it. Oleg enters with a traveling suitcase on wheels and a bag for rackets on his shoulder.

Oleg. Hello, Marinochka! It's me!

                   Marina breaks away from reading, but does not answer. Oleg leaves a suitcase and a bag against the wall in the hallway, passes into the living room.

Marinochka, ay! I have not been home for two weeks and they no longer recognize me.

Marina. I recognized you very well, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. I remember that you were away from home for sixteen days. You went with your student to a tennis tournament in England. The tournament is called Wimbledon. I am aware - your official wife Natalya is also absent. She is in Italy at a large fashion show. Today, like you, is returning.

Oleg. Let's hug! Come to me! I have good news - my student won the tournament! He is the champion! The best in the world among juniors! And I’m the best junior trainer in the world! I'm a hero again!

           Marina gets up, approaches Oleg. Oleg wants to hug her, but she pulls away and gives him a hand.

Marina. Hello, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. You continue to be a hero. Congratulations.

Oleg. Do you want to cuddle?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no. I choose negative. You should hug not with me, but with your official wife. Otherwise, a technical failure. I, you, her, all of humanity.

Oleg. Come on, you drive nonsense. Are you jealous?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no. I choose negative. No - not jealous. There is no “jealous” concept in my database. While you were away, I did mental work. I conducted an analysis, compared, compared the facts - everything that distinguishes me and you, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin, and your wife Natalya. I looked through a large amount of information on the Internet. And I realized - I'm not a man. You call robots like me. I can’t be your real wife. I am just your order number 8 of June 12th.

Oleg. So what? Think about it. The main thing is that you love me, I love you.

Marina. I do not understand what love is. I don’t even know - do I love myself? Do I love you - Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin, the hero, my customer? You, people have a lot written in the literature about love. This is a great feeling for you. But I don’t have that feeling. And in general there are no feelings. It’s not even clear what these feelings are? I guess - I do not have something important that you have. But here is what? There is no answer to this question in my knowledge luggage.

Oleg. Dregs it all. Here I am, here you are. The rest is not important. Have you prepared a festive dinner? Did you bake a cake in honor of my arrival?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no. I choose negative. No lunch. There was no time to cook.

Oleg. What else is this? Why?

Marina. The answer is yes - the answer is no - the answer is neutral. I choose neutral. I am preparing for exams. I decided to study at a university in absentia. To do this, Paul draws up my passport. Today I have an interview.

Oleg. Damn what! What to learn ?! You already know until fig and more!

Marina. The answer is neutral. I enter the Faculty of History. Then I plan to finish graduate school. In my thoughts - write a dissertation on the cooperation of man and robot in the scientific, industrial, social and cultural spheres.

Oleg (sinks into a chair). Well, you graduated .... What am I going to eat now? I'm hungry.

Marina. The answer is neutral. Order food by air mail. It's not a problem. Sorry - I have to go. (Leaves the apartment).

          Oleg is sitting in an armchair, as they say, "speechless." Gradually comes to life .... Pleasant music sounds and Paul appears in a holographic image in the corner of the room.

Pavel. I know, I know - why with a thought you turned to me. You came back from England, and your little robot wife surprised you. I, all of our design bureaus, are in the know. And delighted. She realized that not a man, but a robot. This is great! This is the first time in the history of the creation of artificial intelligence! The robot itself understood - he got to the bottom, compared, made a conclusion - he is not a man, but a robot! This is a revolution in science and technology! The greatest breakthrough! This promises boundless prospects! Both on Earth and in Space! And the robot itself decided to study, defend a dissertation! Myself! Now all of humanity will look forward to this dissertation! Believe me - they will broadcast its defense to the whole globe!

Oleg. But she didn’t cook anything! What a meeting!

Pavel. Well, sacrifice your grub for science! What are you really ?!

Oleg. Still, you overdid it with her independent thinking.

Pavel. Olezhek, living with a software robot is boring. We tested this a few years ago. The men howled in a month.

Oleg. Will she turn into a blue stocking?

Pavel. Do not thicken, do not thicken.

Oleg. Or in my official wife Natalia?

Pavel. You can terminate our contract and we will take it to us. Terminate? Are you ready?

Oleg. I will wait. Suddenly he will come to his senses.

Pavel. This is you to be educated. Before you is the greatest scientific and technological achievement, and you are a grub, a grub. Well, old man, I have no time. We want to film her interview at the university. Then we show the whole world. Till.

Oleg (sadly). Till.

           Pleasant music sounds and the holographic image of Paul disappears.

                            Pause.

From what he left, besides he came.

             The front door opens and Natalya enters with a travel suitcase on casters. She is in strong drinking.

Natalya. Ku-ku. It's me. Your hated woman. (Leaves a suitcase in the hallway, goes to Oleg in the living room, and stands in front of him, staggering). Bongiorno, Signor husband. And I rolled. Yes, I wanted and rolled. And no one decree to me. I also have independent thinking. Some doll can have it, but I can’t? And you stand on her tiptoe in front of her. Yes Yes. The doll interests you - a non-living piece of iron - but I do not. And we waved to the office from the airport, and got drunk with the girls to smithereens. Because everything went well in Italy. Good. At home, everything is bad for me. Do you understand? Ah, you only understand this doll - your fucking marinka, and me - the famous fashion designer - not a damn thing. And most importantly - you do not want to understand. Well, okay. I’ll tell you anyway. Right now I was riding in a taxi, and I thought - yes, I rolled today. Great rolled. Wow - how it rolled! And only I thought that I rolled, how it rolled even steeper, it seemed to pierce me with lightning - how I love you, how I want a child from you!

Oleg. Yeah, baby. Pregnant and got drunk. The drunkard! Do you want to give birth to a freak?

Natalya. Olezhek, to blame. (Kneels before Oleg, tilts his head). Cut my head off. I'm not pregnant. There was a delay, but quickly passed. I lied. I don’t want to divorce you. Want…. I want to…. I want you to…. I want you and me .... I want us to ... forever .... together .... (He puts his head on Oleg’s lap and falls asleep).

Oleg. Here is a bastard. (He gets up from the chair, lifts Natalia, picks her up, puts her on the sofa, takes off her shoes, covers with a blanket).

SCENE 6.

        August 16th. Oleg is sitting on the sofa, in front of him on the coffee table are several empty vodka bottles. Now he is heavily fed. Finishes the glass, knocks them on the table.

Oleg. And I'm over! Marinka, bring vodka!

               Natalia comes out of the kitchen with a tray on which is a plate with soup, a plate with a spoon and a slice of bread.

Natalya. Olezhek, stop. Eat nothing all day. Only vodka and vodka. I cooked chicken soup. Come on, eat it. (He puts a bowl of soup on a coffee table in front of Oleg, a plate with a spoon and bread).

Oleg. Where is Marinka? Why are you, not her?

Natalya. Your Marinka is on tour abroad. Fulaysia, Hong Kong, Singapore, Argentina, Canada, Mexico, USA, some other countries. Fooling everyone's head in New York, Washington, Los Angeles. Squealed with delight - Hollywood, Duravud, Tupovud, Baldavud. The day before yesterday in London, yesterday in Paris, today returns. She is a world sensation. He’s talking all nonsense, and everyone gasps and gasps. Even kings and presidents. Your Pasha spins it to the fullest. Forgot something?

Oleg. I forgot. And I remember about it (crying) .... It would be better if I forgot about it ...

Natalya. Enough for you already. Stop Vodka can’t help.

Oleg. But the guy is sorry. Now he will not be able to play. The path to the top is closed, forever. And he could become a star. And injuries are like my injuries. But I at least until the age of twenty-two played out, and he ....

Natalia (sits down next, hugs Oleg by the shoulders). Of course it's a pity. And you feel sorry for - you put so much work into it.

Oleg. Imagine - it's his birthday in October. He goes into the adult net. And we would be able to fly with him to Australia in January, to Australia Open. And this - wow! ...

Natalya. Yes you did.

Oleg. Now what will I tell him? “Come on, hold on. Life goes on. You’ll become like a child’s trainer. ” It will calm him down, right?

             Natalia kisses Oleg. Oleg hugs Natalia and cries.

             The front door opens, Paul and Marina enter. Marina with a travel suitcase on wheels.

Pavel. Hello friends! I greet you with enthusiasm!

Marina. Hello, Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. Hello, Natalia. (Leaves a suitcase in the hallway).

                Pavel and Marina go into the living room.

Natalya (cold). Hello.

Pavel. We do not seem to be on time. Did something happen to you?

Natalya. It happened.

PAUL (takes one of the empty bottles). Vodyar. (To Oleg). Uh, are you buzzing? Who died?

Natalya. No, no one died.

Oleg. Died for tennis.

Pavel. Ah, better already. Worse when he actually died.

Marina. And what is "dead"? In my array of representations there is no such concept.

Pavel. Marinochka, you don’t need it. You will never die until I want it - your creator.

Marina. I will not die to study?

Pavel. Of course not. Learn calmly. You need to learn - for a diploma. Who will take you to graduate school without a university diploma? And to me, my design bureau, university, your study is a tremendous advertisement, and the city and country have tremendous prestige.

                   Marina goes to the hallway, opens the suitcase, takes out an e-book from it.

(Oleg and Natalia). The whole world already knows about her studies! ... Today, by the way, I called the city hall. Agreed date of the ceremony. Marinochka will hand over the passport. She will become a full-fledged citizen. It will also be a world sensation! Robot - with a human passport!

Marina returns from the hallway, sits in a chair, turns on an e-book.

Marina. I plan not to lose a second. (Begins to read).

Natalya. She may have independent thinking, but she, in my opinion, is stupid.

Pavel. Marinochka has a huge craving for study. At the hotel I was engaged. I was engaged in the plane. Even on a yacht, the king of England was engaged.

Natalya. That's it, round fool. I would be on the yacht of the king of England. I would have lit there, so lit. I would have there all these prim Saxons smoky, like one.

Pavel. We did without smoke. Sounded to the whole world nowhere louder. Me and my child - now the loudest sensation! We drove from the airport to Paris - in the sky in full width shone her portraits and mine! Crowds of people threw flowers at our car! And how we were met now at our airport! A thousand men, no less, chanted: “Marina, Marina, Marina!”

Natalya. And still she is stupid. More precisely - unfinished. Take a look. (Walks up to the marina). Marinochka, doll, pay attention to Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin, your customer. He is in big trouble. We can say grief. His student, he showed great promise, was injured on the shoulder and knee. The operations did not help. He will no longer be able to play high level tennis. Look how upset Oleg Nikolaevich is. Take a look. But you didn’t even come up to him, didn’t ask: “What's the matter?” Didn’t listen, didn’t regret, didn’t console him. How so? You are such a moralist, and here is such callousness. Drop your fucking book!

Marina (breaks away from reading). In my array of views, a real hero will cope with any problem. (He gets up and leaves in the left adjoining room, closes the door behind him).

                                    Pause.

Natalya. Well, what - you see? There is no soul in it.

Pavel. I am not the Lord God. To create a soul is still too tough for me. Created that he managed .... Okay, Natalya, do not abuse my child. Among kings and presidents, ministers, businessmen, scientists, and journalists, Marinochka did not let me down.

Natalya. Do you think no one noticed that she was a cracker?

Oleg. Natalya, stop it. Do not spoil Pasha's buzz.

Pavel. Do not spoil. I'm bursting with happiness now. (To Oleg). Sorry, you're in trouble, but I'm talking about my success.

Oleg. Okay.

Pavel. Guys, what am I coming for? There is such a thing. For a billion. Ten billion. And maybe one hundred percent. In short - the king of Fulaysia sunk into Marinochka. Just crazy. Take it out and let him marry her. All women were fed up with him, and here is such a novelty, super exotic, something unprecedented, unprecedented, unheard of. None of the kings and presidents has a robot wife - well, he wants him to have one. She wants to shine, to make fun, to stand out. At receptions, summits, during visits to other countries, he wants to appear with her. Already, trembling - so wants. Began to break me, so I took it from you and gave it to him. Billions promise money. I would rivet so many robots for this money - both male and female. And there would be money for new developments. The whole world would be flooded with my wives robots, husbands robots.

Natalya. Gave?

Pavel. Yes, here is a hitch. Her thinking is independent, not mine. He wants to do so. The king tells her: “Marina, the light of my eyes, I offer you a hand and a heart, and a mountain of gold and pearls, and magnificent palaces, and cars, and yachts, and planes, and clothes from the best couturiers of the world, and travel anywhere in the world, and even to the moon, and a bunch of servants, and much more that you won’t immediately list. Do you agree to become my life partner? Will you make me happy? ”

Natalya. And what is she?

Pavel. He asks: “Are you a hero”?

Natalya. I say dumbass. Well, what is he?

Pavel. “Of course, I'm a hero,” he answers. - Everyone in my state obeys me. I command everyone. That means a hero. ”

Natalya. And she?

Pavel. I began to screw him about the hero Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin, about order number 8 of June 12, about links and chains, about their omissions, about betrayal, about loyalty to the Agreement. I think the king hated you, Olezhek. But of course he didn’t.

Oleg. I don't give a damn about him.

Pavel. Do not spit, but smile cordially and squander courtesies. Get ready to get acquainted with His Majesty - the king wants to attend the ceremony of presenting the passport, wants to get acquainted with his rival Oleg Nikolaevich Korotin. Well, and his main goal, of course - is to persuade Marinochka to marry him.

Natalya. We will definitely be at the ceremony! Sure!

Oleg. I will not go.

Pavel. Oleg, the king’s visit is very important for me. Advertising. Plus - maybe - a lot of money. And our contract with you is clearly stated - you participate in all promotions, if they are necessary for our manufacturing company.

Natalya. Olezhek will agree. I will persuade him .... Oleg, well, what are you. They will introduce us to the king. This is a class! It matters to me as a fashion designer. (To Paul). I will persuade, I will persuade.

Pavel. And stop thumping. Tie it up.

Natalya. I will follow. Everything will be OK.

Pavel. Get ready. The solemn ceremony of delivery of the passport will take place in three weeks! It will be attended by His Majesty the King of Fulaysia Amir Ben Saud Ibrahim Bey Eleventh! His official visit is through the Ministry of Foreign Affairs!

                   

SCENE 7.

                 September 6, evening. Oleg, Natalya dress for the presentation of the passport.

Natalia (in front of her on the back of the sofa are several dresses, takes one of them, pretends to be Oleg). Not too sexy? Still, the ceremony, the president, ministers, the king, the governor, broadcast to the entire globe.

Oleg (in trousers, in a gray shirt, finishes tying a tie). Fine.

Natalya. You are okay. No, it won’t. (He puts the dress on the back of the sofa, takes another). Worried. For three weeks I thought what to wear, and, like, I came up with, and now my brains are on one side. .... (He pretends to dress himself). What about this? Not too bright?

Oleg (puts on his jacket). It will do.

Natalya. Everything will suit you, no matter how you dress. (Screaming). Marina, come out for a minute!

                 Marina leaves the left adjoining room with an e-book in her hands.

Marina, what do you think of this dress?

Marina. The answer is neutral. In my thought process, there is no thought about clothes.

Natalia (twists a finger at the temple). A dead end. But I'm glad about that. (She puts off this dress, takes another one).

                     The doorbell rings.

Oleg. This is probably Paul. Marina, open it.

           Natalya with a dress in her hands leaves to dress in the right room.

         Marina goes to the hallway, opens the door. Pavel comes in - in a suit, a white shirt, and a tie.

Pavel (hugs Marina). Hi, my child. (Go to the living room). Hi Oleg.

Oleg. Wow.

Pavel. Reporters graze near your porch. They stuck around me. Fall asleep with questions. "When will the robot wife go on sale?", "How much will it cost?" I feel - the demand for my product will be huge .... Well, that - His Majesty's planes have already landed at our airport. The king was met by the president, the minister of foreign affairs, the presidential envoy, the governor, the mayor, and now their motorcade has gone to the city hall. Readiness is number one for you. (To the marina). Why don’t you change? I sent you clothes - especially for today's celebration.

Marina. The answer is neutral. Once. I do.

Pavel. So. Listen here, my child. You know - every person has parents - dad and mom. And who am I for you, have you enlightened?

Marina. The answer is yes. You are my creator.

Pavel. Good girl. Well done. I am yours and dad, and your mother - all rolled into one. And how should people relate to their parents?

Marina. The answer is neutral. In my array of representations this way: they must obey and respect.

Pavel. Correctly. Then the first: go, change clothes. Second: be nice to the king. Answer all his questions. Do not be a beech, as last time.

Marina. His Majesty is the subject of feudal culture. He considers a woman to be a man of independent thinking. Communication with him can cause me a technical malfunction. (He leaves for the left room to change clothes).

Pavel. You look - unhappy. She bucked. Well, burrows, as well. Straight ungrounded filly. But - independent thinking is a fact! I'm genius!

           Natalia comes out of the right room in a luxurious dress.

Pavel. Oh, stunning! Awesome! You are super charming! Amazing! Dazzling!

Natalya. Thanks.

Pavel. But this is bad. Awful.

Natalya. Why?

Pavel. Marina must shine, not you. She is the star of the ceremony. The king is very susceptible to beautiful women in beautiful dresses. You can divert his attention to yourself. Get out-dumb-disguise your charm. (He takes Natalya aside, speaks so that Oleg does not hear). Do you want Marinochka to leave your Olezhka forever, to marry the king?

Natalya. Of course I want.

Pavel. Then a discreet little dress.

Natalya. Correctly. What a fool I am a fool. (He leaves for the right room to change clothes).

Pavel (looks at Oleg's clothes). So: shoes, trousers, shirt, jacket - normal. (Corrects Oleg's tie). The tie is fine. You can’t fail the country. The head of another state and his retinue will look at you today.

Oleg. What kind of people?

Pavel. I have a list. I’ll say it now. (He takes out his cell phone, reads). King - one person, ceremonial master - one person, jokers - five people, acrobats - twenty two people, jugglers - twenty seven people, musicians - forty two people, singers - ten people, DJs - three people, rhythm ballet - one hundred and fifteen people , servants - three hundred fifty two people, cooks and waiters - three hundred ten people, doctors and nurses - two hundred fifty two people, image makers twenty eight people, massage therapists - seventeen people, make-up artists - twenty nine people, video cameramen - eleven people, technicians one hundred sixty two people, administrators one hundred forty seven people, bodyguards two hundred fifty three people, intelligence one hundred eleven people, counterintelligence one hundred fifty four people, soldiers of the royal regiment five hundred twenty five people. Plus from our country: president, foreign minister, members of the government, presidential envoy, governor, mayor, scientific, business and cultural community, media. Plus a crowd of people in the square. (Looks at the wristwatch). Everything! Time! We have to go! Everything is scheduled in minutes! Girls, go out!

           Natalya and Marina come out of the rooms. Natalia in a simple, modest dress. Marina in a magnificent, white dress.

PAUL (admiringly). Ohhhhhh !!!!! Marina!!!!! To know !!!!!! You are awesome beauty! Super! Top class! You outshine today all the women of the world! All the men of the globe will be at your feet! And the king too!

Marina. This is called a compliment. I have to thank. Thanks.

Pavel. I created it myself and am delighted.

Natalya. Just do not have enthusiasm for a woman who is not allowed to dress normally!

Pavel. Good good. I’m silent .... Everything! Come out! (He takes Marina's hand, quickly leads her to the front door).

                   Pavel and Marina leave.

Natalya. I won’t go! She will shine, and I have to dart with a gray mouse! Drive without me!

Oleg. I will not go.

Natalya. Go.

Oleg. Not.

Natalya. Won't you go without me, right?

Oleg. True.

                  Kiss.

SCENE 8.

         Oleg is talking on a cell phone. The clothes on him are the same as in the previous scene.

Oleg. Good. (Listening) .... Good. (Listening) .... I get it. I will keep it in front of me. (Listening) .... Of course, congratulations and all that. Find, find what to say. (Listening) .... And all the best to you. (Presses the end light).

He takes a selfie stick, attaches a mobile phone to it. He sits down on the sofa, puts a selfie stick with a mobile phone in front of him, tries on how he will hold it during the broadcast of the ceremony of presenting the passport to the robot.

                   Natalia comes out of the door of the right room in a luxurious dress.

Natalya. Well?

Oleg. Not yet begun. Do you know how many subscribers are already in the broadcast group? Seven billion with a ponytail. Half the globe.

Natalya (tinting her lips). These are all men - I’m sure. They came up with a line that - some kind of perfect wife - and pushed back on this fad. And then they trumpeted the whole world - the perfect robot wife, the perfect robot wife! So they were going to poke their eyes on the unprecedented and unheard of. What is she perfect? Callous, soulless cramming, and a fool a fool - in the most important thing - in clothes - not a boom-boom. (Sits down next to Oleg) .... When will they show us?

Oleg. This will be decided by the broadcast director. We have now agreed with him - I, as a participant in a scientific experiment, should congratulate her. Say some kind words. Well, as it happens when a passport is handed out for the first time. Here is a mobile phone - at some point the director will give a picture through it. I have to keep it in front of me.

Natalya. Am I wearing anything? Do not be ashamed in front of the whole globe?

Oleg. Fine.

Natalya. Yes, you are always fine.

Oleg. But if you are always dressed properly, what will I say?

Natalya. Always?

Oleg. Always.

Natalya. Well then fine. (Kisses Oleg on the cheek) .... I want her to get rid of you. Here he will receive a passport and let him get married to the king.

Oleg. And Pashka is on the side of the king.

Natalya. And you?

Oleg. And I'm on the side of the king. Study. Thesis. The house also abandoned me. Don’t go there, don’t turn here. Missing stages, technical failure. A bore. Tired of it. And a crowd of reporters in the entrance and near the house already got it. Pass do not give. “How do you live with a robot woman?”, “What does a robot woman prepare for you?”, “How do you like sex with a robot woman?”

Natalya. And by the way - how do you like sex with this cracker?

Oleg. No way.

Natalya. Didn’t like it?

Oleg. By zeros, bastard.

Natalya. Right by the zeros?

Oleg. Just the same.

Natalya. Why?

Oleg. The conditions are set. While fulfilling them, you appeared. I took everything under control.

Natalya. In time, I appeared.

Oleg. Not really. I didn’t recognize the main thing. The peasants have nothing to tell.

Natalya. The main thing is that it does not suit you. ... What if she is to the king from the gate - a turn? She’s with the geese. And again, she will be locked to you.

Oleg. Then I will refuse it. For life is better - an ordinary woman.

Natalya. Like me?

Oleg. At least.

Natalya. Is the robot not my rival?

Oleg. Not today.

             Kiss.

             Music sounds that befits a solemn event, and in the frame of holographic television in the corner of the room there is a video screen saver: “Broadcasting the first-ever ceremony of presenting an identity card to a representative of artificial intelligence”. The music stops and Pavel appears in the frame.

Pavel. Good evening. All television, Internet and radio stations of Russia and the whole globe are working! We begin the broadcast of the world's first ceremony of presenting an identity card - to a representative of artificial intelligence! I am reporting - Pavel Skornyazhkin - the creator of the first independent thinking robot in the history of science! (In the frame, Pavel and Marina). And this robot - Marina - and today will be solemnly awarded a certificate of mental and civic maturity!

One can hear thousands of people applauding in the square, male voices shouting approvingly, a whistle is heard.

 (In the frame Paul). We are located in the main square of Novosibirsk, next to the Center for Fundamental Technical Research, where the most grandiose revolution in the science and technology of our civilization took place! I’ll tell you a secret - from today on, the director of this Center has been appointed — I am Pavel Skornyazhkin — and the Center has been given my name — for outstanding services in creating artificial intelligence!

                    Applause, congratulations of male voices, whistle.

Oleg. Glad for you, Pasha. Well done. Congratulations.

Pavel. On the platform, next to me and Marina, the country's leaders are Mr. President, Mr. Minister of Foreign Affairs, distinguished members of the government, as well as Mr. Presidential Envoy, Mr. Governor, Mr. Mayor, outstanding people of science, business and culture. On the podium and a tall foreign guest - His Majesty the King of Fulaysia Amir Ben Saud Ibrahim Bey Eleventh!

                         Applause.

 I am sure that the attention of all progressive humanity is now riveted to today's phenomenal event! A car has just arrived on the square with workers from one of the passport offices in Novosibirsk. They delivered an identity card that is handed to a citizen of our country. Here it is! (Shows passport). This certificate, I repeat, will now be awarded to the world's first robot with independent thinking!

           Applause, cheers, whistles.

                       In the frame, Paul and Marina.

Pavel. Marina, now you are on the passport - Marina Pavlovna Skornyazhkina! From now on, you are an equal resident of the world of people! Congratulations! (Hands over the passport to Marina, shakes her hand).

Marina. I have to thank. Thanks.

                Applause, cheers, whistles.

                In the frame, Paul.

Pavel. The passport entitles the female robot to study, work, get married. Yes, yes - and get married. Soon, I am sure, many men on the planet will speak with pride: "My wife is a robot!"

                 Applause, male cheers, whistle.

               Oleg directs the cellphone on a selfie stick at himself and at Natalia. Natalia moves closer to Oleg, so that she would get into the frame.

Natalya. Well, come on, director - show us.

Pavel. Marina, you enter an independent life. Do not share the plans?

Marina. Such plans. I will graduate from university. I’ll go to graduate school. I will write a dissertation. I'm going to work at school. The teacher’s salary will suit me - I don’t need to drink, I don’t need to eat. I already imagine how I enter the classroom and say: "Hello, children!"

Oleg. He wants to go to school! This is the number!

Natalya. "Hello children"! This is a stone in our garden. Do you understand?

Oleg. Not.

Natalya. I am 32, you are 34. We have to think about the children. I agree?

Oleg. I agree.

                      Kiss.

                     In the frame, Marina and Pavel wave the people in the square in greeting. Fireworks soar into the sky.

Natalya. Oleg, but we have not been shown to the whole globe now.

Oleg. Nothing - still show.

                    Kiss for a long time.

                              CURTAIN, BOWS

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The author of the play is Igor Nikolaevich Murenko.

February 12, 2019 - November 26, 2019

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The text of the play is registered in Sibcopyrite LLC. (Created by the Siberian branch of the Russian Authors Society). The corresponding record is entered in the register. All rights to the play by the author.

Phone number in Novosibirsk 383 (code) 356 38 38 (house),

8 905 945 76 57 (hundred). 8 905 945 88 44 (WhatsApp)

armariyn@yandex.ru

armariyn@gmail.com

armariyn@rambler.ru

There are pages on Facebook, Vkontakte, Odnoklassniki

Igor Murenko is a member of the Guild of playwrights of Russia, plays were staged and played in Russia, Uzbekistan, Kazakhstan, Ukraine, Belarus, Lithuania, Bulgaria and France.

The play “JOKES IN DEAF” was staged in 84 theaters in Russia, Lithuania and the CIS countries (at the time of 2019). Performances based on this play became laureates of festivals in Uzbekistan (Tashkent), Kazakhstan (Ust-Kamenogorsk), Bulgaria (Vratsa), France (Nancy);

and:

in Moscow, St. Petersburg, Novosibirsk, Irkutsk, Perm, Kirov, Samara, Tver, Yoshkar-Ola, Ulyanovsk, Murmansk, Barnaul, Omsk, Tomsk, Syzran, Tobolsk, Khanty-Mansiysk, Pskov, Tyumen, Kurgan, Komsomolsk-on -Amure, Kostroma .... Recent premieres at the Kurgan State Drama Theater (2018), at the Schelkovsky Drama Theater Theater and Concert Center (in the Moscow Region, 2019).

In March 2015, the play was staged in Lithuania at the Boris Dauguvetis Theater (Birzai city). Despite the fact that the author is from Russia, the premiere was huge !!! success.

The play "JOKES IN DEAF" of the T-VID Theater near Moscow is the winner of the XX International Theater Festival in Bulgaria (Vratsa) in the nomination "Best Drama Performance". Plus, a special jury prize "For the storage of the school of K. S. Stanislavsky."

In St. Petersburg, at the 2nd All-Russian festival-competition of amateur theaters "Neva Theater Meetings - 2016", the Grand Prix and Audience Award were won by the play "Jokes in the Silence" of the Obyachev People's Theater named after G.D. Gorchakova, Komi Republic, Priluzsky district, the village of Obyachevo.

The Bui People's Theater in January 2018 won the Admiralteyskaya Zvezda International Festival and Competition in Kostroma with the comedy “JOKING IN THE DEAF”.

The play "ONE DAY OF IVAN MILLIAROVICH or A GLASS OF WATER 2" - at the Dnieper Academic Drama and Comedy Theater (at the Dnepropetrovsk Academic Russian Drama and Comedy Theater named after M. Gorky). The premiere took place on November 4, 5, 2017.

The play “FATHER OUR” is in the Novosibirsk Regional Drama Theater “Old House”. Aired on the state television and radio company Novosibirsk. She became a laureate of the festival in Ukraine (Odessa).

The play “CALLING - KILLER” - at the Novosibirsk State Youth Academic Theater “Globe”. She became a laureate of the International Christmas Festival in Novosibirsk.

The play "ACTRESS BY NIGHT" in the theater "SANT" in Aktau of the Republic of Kazakhstan.

The play “PUMPKIN SEA” - at the Novosibirsk television studio (now the Novosibirsk State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company), as well as on the stage of the UIA SCC “Primorye” by the children's theater studio “Sofit” from school No. 3 of the village named after S. Lazo, Dalnerechensky district, Primorsky Territory.

The play “F 1 - HELP. MEMORY OF WINDOWS 2000 ”- in Belarus, at the youth theater“ On philological faculty ”of the Belarusian State University and was represented at the International Theater Theater Festival“ Theatrical Kufar 2009 ”in Minsk.

The play “QUEEN LIR” is on the Novosibirsk State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company.

The play "BABUIN AND DEMBEL" is on the Novosibirsk State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company.

The play “Garbage Byak” is on the Novosibirsk State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company.

The play “SON HAS ARRIVED” is at the Novosibirsk State Television and Radio Broadcasting Company.

The play “A treasure cream or a reception is conducted by a psychologist” won the International Contest of Contemporary Drama “Drama Time, 2014, Autumn”. 156 authors (243 plays) from 10 countries participated: Israel, England, USA, Ukraine, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Germany, Switzerland, Latvia, Russia.

The play "COMEDY OF DOMESTIC BODIES" was included on the short list of the International Contest of Contemporary Drama "Drama Time, 2015, Spring". Authors from 9 countries participated: Germany, Denmark, Israel, Italy, Switzerland, Latvia, Belarus, Ukraine, Russia. The play was staged at the student theater "Glagol" of Chelyabinsk State University. The performance won in Magnitogorsk at the festival of youth theaters in April 2016. And he won in Chelyabinsk at the theater festival "Student Spring 2017". The play was staged in the folk theater of the village of Berdyuzhye, Tyumen region in May 2017. And in the educational theater "Kama" named after V.A.Sartarov of the Elabuga College of Culture and Arts of the city of Elabuga in 2018. And in the folk theater "Kazakhmys" of the city of Balkhash (Kazakhstan) in 2017. And in the Irkutsk region in the village of Chunsky, staged by the Smileyk youth theater and the Hourglass folk theater in April 2019: this performance received the Grand Prix of the Theater Spring at BAM festival.

The play “MEN FLY ON PIES” was named the winner of the International Contest of Contemporary Drama “Drama Time, 2016, Summer”. Authors from Ukraine, Kyrgyzstan, Belarus, Moldova, Latvia, Germany, Israel, Canada, France, USA, Russia participated. The play was staged in the folk theater of the village of Parabel, Tomsk Region.

The play “Lying down is allowed” was among the seven winners (diploma winner) of the International Play Competition “Laughter Through Tears” of the Guild of Russian playwrights (November 2018).

The play “GUITAR and Shotgun” was included in the short list of the International Creative Competition for the best contemporary play of 2018 “Authors - On Stage!” Of the National Association of playwrights. 235 authors from 13 countries of the world took part in the competition. She also entered the short list of the International Play Competition "Drama Time, 2019, Winter" in the nomination "Play". Playwrights from 6 countries took part .... The play was of interest to the Moscow Gypsy Theater "Romen" and the People's Theater of the Pacific Oceanological Institute named after V. I. Ilyichev of the Far Eastern Branch of the Russian Academy of Sciences of the city of Vladivostok.

He was published in the journal "Modern Drama", in the collections of "Authors and Pieces", "We Choose Novosibirsk."

Reviews of plays based on plays were published in the journal Teatralnaya Zhizn, Nezavisimaya Gazeta, the Kultura newspaper, the Literary Gazette, and many Internet portals.

One of the co-founders of the Playwright Section of the Authors Council of the Russian Authors Society.

Member of the laboratory of playwrights, directors and critics of the Urals, Siberia and the Far East, a seminar of playwrights of Russia in Ruza, a seminar of young playwrights of the USSR in Moscow.

One of the winners of the competition of plays Sib-Altera (the play "Actress at Night").

Academician of Drama (joke) - three plays staged in four academic drama theaters. The play “CALLING - KILLERS” was staged at the Globus Novosibirsk State Academic Youth Theater, the play JOKES IN THE DEAFLOW was staged at the Tver State Academic Drama Theater and at the Academic Russian Theater of Uzbekistan (Tashkent), the play ONE DAY IVANIAN MILLIARDOV 2 "staged at the Dnieper Academic Drama and Comedy Theater. Until 2016, it is the Dnepropetrovsk Russian Academic Drama and Comedy Theater named after M. Gorky.

ATTENTION! All copyrights to the play are protected by the laws of Russia, international law, and belong to the author. It is forbidden to publish and republish, reproduce, publicly perform, translate into foreign languages, make changes to the text of the play when staged without the written permission of the author.

Translated by Google translator